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When you lose something, it’s all that you want back

November 21, 2010

Shin splints. I sat in the urgent care for 4 hours on Thursday for them to tell me I had shin splints. I was frustrated. I could have (and did) diagnosed myself with shin splints on my own just from google and a little common sense. I thought it was more than that though. I thought the fact that resting wasn’t helping and that it was hurting just when I was walking meant it might be more. So I waited, and waited, and waited in the waiting room. They took x-rays, and then they told me it was shin splints. I was grateful for the medicine they gave me, but  I was frustrated.

Friday I got a call from the doctor saying they saw something on my x-ray after looking at it further. Had I ever had a previous infection in my leg? No. They thought it may be scar tissue from an infection. It could also be a tumor. Yes, they told me over the phone I could have a tumor on my leg. He did throw out that if it was a tumor, it was “non-cancerous”. I guess that should make me feel better. They made an appointment for me to see the orthopedist. The same one I saw when I had knee problems last year. I go Monday morning.

I want to know why my leg hurts. More than anything, I want it to stop hurting so that I can start running again. I am a planner. I plan things in advance because it is comforting to me. My plan to make it through the holiday meals was to do extra running. Want to eat a big meal on Thanksgiving? Get up and run several miles and then you’ll feel less guilty. That was the plan. That isn’t going to happen. I’m not even sure what I can do for exercise right now. When you can’t use one of your legs, it makes it difficult. I have lost 134 pounds on Weight Watchers. I am 12 pounds away from my goal weight. When you take exercise out, it makes it more difficult. I know I can do it, it is just going to take a little more creative planning.

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