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Doubts and Insecurities

December 4, 2010

I don’t tell people how I really feel. I keep things to myself. I pretend I am fine even if I am really not.

I am 25 years old and I have never had a boyfriend. Worse than that, I’m not sure that there has ever been anyone who has been romantically interested in me.

What is wrong with me?

I know I am not beautiful, but I don’t think I am ugly either. I have lost over 135 pounds in the last year, so I can’t use my weight as an excuse anymore. What is it about me that is not dateable?

It is so hard for me sometimes. I have a sister who is married with a baby and a sister who is engaged. I have a brother who is married with three kids. I love my family so much, but it hard for me to not be envious of each and every one of them. When will it be my turn?

My life has not turned out how I thought it would be. I thought I would be married with kids by this point. Instead  I am single and lonely.

I know I need to put my faith in God. And I do. I know it is going to happend when He thinks it is the right time. But I still can’t help but wonder what is so wrong with me.

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