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Don’t think that I’m complaining, sometimes it keeps on raining

July 12, 2011

I’m having a bad day.

There are several things that have added onto this feeling today.

I woke up kind of grumpy because I didn’t get much sleep last night. I even opted to not get up and run just so I could get an extra hour of sleep. And I felt a little rushed this morning because I didn’t give myself enough time to get ready, so that didn’t help.

Today I had training for work. I know I have written before that I am not happy in my job. I am grateful to have a job and it isn’t terrible, but I don’t love it. One thing that sucks about this year is that our summer break has been cut short. Our kids start school August 2nd. So, imagine the frustration of having to give up one of my few summer break days that I have left to go to training. To top it off, just being at the training gave me anxiety about going back to work. One of the things that I dislike the most about my job is the favoritism that is played to certain people. I could hear it just listening to the varying opinions of the people there at the training. I then start thinking about all of the supervision and constant watching I feel like happens. It just makes me anxious. I know I will make the most of it. I love my TA and some of my coworkers, and I really do love working with the kids, so those things alone make it okay. I just need to find a way to get over those other feelings within the next few weeks because I can’t go back work feeling like this every day.

When I got out of training, I decided to give my best friend, Katie a call and see how she was doing after the weekend. You may remember that she was supposed to come visit me this weekend, but wasn’t able to because she found out some bad medical news about her grandfather. When she answered and I asked how she was, she said, “Not good.” Her grandfather passed away this morning. She said when she left him yesterday she thought they were crazy to think that he only had 3 weeks left because he looked really good. The doctor’s think he had a stroke. My heart is breaking for her and her family. While several good things happened this weekend (all of his kids got to come see him, Katie found out in time to stay), it was too short of a notice for everyone in the family to see him.

Selfishly, the news also made me think about my Grandma’s health problems. But I don’t want to talk about that right now.

So these things, along with other things that have been bothering me and stressing me out have led to a bad day.

I tried to release some of my feelings with a run on the treadmill when I got home. Usually it is really effective. Not so much tonight. What I really feel like doing is going and buying some chocolate and eating it. But that will just lead to me having another bad day tomorrow when the guilt sets in, so I think I’ll let myself indulge in some low fat chocolate ice cream tonight and start fresh tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new day.

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