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Standing Still

July 21, 2011

Pardon me while I rant a little.

I go back to work next Thursday. This is about a week earlier than I went back last year and a few weeks earlier than most teachers. I know I shouldn’t complain because I got a whole summer off, but it is one of the benefits of being a teacher. We didn’t get out until June, so we only ended up with 7 1/2 weeks this summer.

This whole going back to work thing has me really down. I made it through the last few weeks months of last school year by telling myself that I would find something new over the summer and I wouldn’t be coming back this year. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened. I have tried, but it just hasn’t worked out for me. I check my e-mail several times a day to see if I have heard back from jobs I have applied for or interviewed at…but nothing.

I need to get into the right frame of mind before I go back to work or I am going to be miserable. I just really thought that something would open up for me this summer. I am very thankful that I have a job, but I would like to have a job that I was happy in.

I just want a few more weeks. I think working part time this summer has also affected it. I haven’t gotten enough rest/relaxation time.

Then there is the fact that my birthday is this weekend. I have never been one to get super depressed about turning a year older, but I am a little bit this year. I just feel like everyone around me is moving forward and starting new journeys and I am standing still. I am at a job I don’t love. I am still single. I am still living paycheck to paycheck. A lot of great things happened for me this year, but I just feel like I am still lacking so much. I know I should focus on the positive and the rest will fall into place, but sometimes it is really hard to be patient.

Hopefully the massage I’m getting after my chiropractor appointment today relaxes me a little.

At least I have a great birthday dinner to look forward to this weekend, courtesy of my wonderful mom. 🙂

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