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Changes

October 2, 2012

Several times over the past few months, I have thought about coming and updating my blog. But honestly, I lacked the motivation or desire to truly do so. I think that when I am not feeling confident about myself, it is hard for me to want to put myself out there. And that is something I have been struggling with lately.

 

My weight has been something I have been struggling with. I have documented some of it here, but it is definitely an ongoing battle. I have good days and bad days. Good weeks and bad weeks. It’s really not even 100% about the number I am seeing on the scale. It is about not feeling good about myself. I am trying to make myself realize that I am human and I will make mistakes and bad choices, but that is a part of living. And I really am feeling better about myself lately. Even when I don’t make good choices, I am able to “forgive” myself more easily.

 

The thing that I have struggled with the most lately is running. After a summer of injury and not running much, I jumped head first into half marathon training and was met with resistance from my body which led to a lot of disappointment. I found myself unable to run more than a mile or so at a time without a break. And with an increase in mileage every week, I wasn’t able to work my way up like I wanted to. So, for the time being, I am doing 6:1 intervals. Is this what I really want to be doing? No. But it is all my body can handle right now. It has also been disappointing realizing how much slower I am now than I was a year ago. A year ago, I was running 8:30-9:00 minute miles. And now I am struggling to finish one in 10:00-10:30. But for now, my focus can’t be on speed. It has to be on training for this Half. And then after that,  I can work on other things.

 

Life is a journey. It’s all about finding out what you can do to make it the best journey possible.

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